Insurance, insurance, insurance...

I got it on the brain and it's not like I want to or anything.. It's more like it's being seared in there. That's probably a good thing since I am finally and officially an insurance agent. The company that I work for is awesome and I feel so lucky to have found it.

Anywho, other than insurance there really hasn't been much going on in my world. Mischa's birthday is this sunday and I don't get paid until monday, sooo he won't be getting anything until sometime next week. Poor guy. I told him he can take me out to dinner to celebrate HIS birthday haha. He loves me even when I'm a spoiled little brat... I lucked out and hit the jackpot with that one.

I miss my girls from home a lot lately... Meg, Nelle, Shan, Nikki..
It's weird that we don't get to hang out all the time anymore. They're graduating college, or buying new houses. GROWING UP. Crazy shit. Sersiously. I miss the times we went skinny dipping in Nelle's neighbor's pool at like 2am, or getting drunk and playing pool at Meg's house, I will miss this st. patrick's day at Shan's house... I just feel like we're all growing apart and it makes me sad. :-(

I met this girl Niki (not Nikki from above, Niki. One k!) at the pre-licensing class that we had to take. It took a day, but after that we hit it off like we'd been friends for a long time. She's my kinda gal; rude, crude and incredibly funny. I think we've pretty much seen each other everyday since class and I enjoy every minute of it. Have I mentioned that she's almost made me pee my pants like 3 times from laughing so hard, cuz she has.

I've been thinking a lot lately about how short life is. Not really in a morbid way, just because this is the month that I've lost a few people who I considered family. Mr. Park, Nelle's dad, passed away this month 4 years ago. I think about him almost everyday. He's the inspiration for my LiveStrong tattoo and he was also one of my softball mentors. It's crazy. I think about how I would feel if my dad passed and I can't help but cry. Nelle, Mack and mama Park are so strong and I love them.
On the 23rd this month will be the one year anniversary of the day that my Uncle Tom's long time girlfriend died. It was awful. She had an aneurysm of the spleen and died suddenly and unexpectedly while she was running on her treadmill. Rumor was my uncle was going to ask her to marry him in April and we would have celebrated their wedding last summer. I'm not sure why out of all the other losses in my life her's still brings tears to my eyes at the least expected times. I remember talking to her the weekend before about the move that Mischa and I were planning and I can picture her smile. I feel so bad for my uncle, I can't imagine what it would be like to lose the one person in your life that makes your heart beat faster every time you see them. I'd be a mess and he, rightly so, was and in ways still is...

I miss all the people that I've lost in my life. Very much. I wish that they could still be here today... I am a believer in when your number is called, it's your turn to go. Even if it's for reasons unexplained or unfair. Those of us that remain have to honor that person and live our lives to the fullest because that's what they would want us to do. Mr. Park, my uncle John, Michelle, they would want us to wake up everyday, think about them, and smile, remembering all the fun, wonderful, loving moments that we had with them. I miss you all terribly. Thank you for the wonderful moments.

Although I've never seen this movie, I like the last line:
"Men like my father cannot die. They are with me still, real in memory as they were in flesh, loving and beloved. Forever. How green was my valley then."
-How Green was My Valley (1941)